07 October 2010

Very Ready

I'm ready to go tomorrow, other than the fact that I have to get some sleep, and plug my phone in because it's about to die. I've got the alarm set for 6:45, because I know I'll hit the snooze button at least a few times, and I do not want to be late for this.

I've gone away for much longer than this before, but never with the intent on relocating. That is starting to hit me more than anything right now. This is a good move for me, and there is so much for me there, and I want this very much. But I also can't help but think of what I'm leaving here. My family, my dog, my lizards, and my home for the entirety of my life thus far. I have every intention on coming back to visit as often as possible, but it's odd, scary, and more than a little bittersweet. Naively, I didn't expect to feel this way. There isn't much here that I will miss, but what I will miss will be very much so. Some places, some people, some foods, and strangely enough, the feel of this place. I know I'll be back again before the final move, but not for long. That idea thrills me and frightens me at the same time.

I've got anxiety, excitement, hope, a bit of sadness, a lot of happiness, self-doubt, confidence, and so many other things going on in my head right now that it's making me quite tense. I really should be getting to sleep. I'll have around 9 hours to nap on the train, but chances are I will not sleep much in reality. I've got so much to do in this life, and I hope everyone finds the same happiness that I've found.

Through all of this stress, anxiety, and tension, I've still managed to be happier than I have ever been before. The realities are setting in, but so is the knowledge that I know where I want to wake up for the rest of my days, and that I know who I want to see each of those mornings and days by my side. And for now, I will sleep. The morning will come faster once I've gone to bed.

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