The weekend went really well. His friends that I was meeting for the first time were great. Our friends who will be forming the Kindred with us are also great people. The six of us had a great time on Friday night and stayed up until after 3am. Our Kindred folk stayed until early Saturday afternoon, then were back on the road again. The rest of us went to a small zombie event at the Monroeville Mall, which is where Dawn of the Dead was filmed. We had dinner at the pub which was, as usual, delicious. I even got to have my pumpkin ale, which was the best I've ever had. It was a long weekend, but a good one. Once everyone was gone, we relaxed and had a great evening.
I'm going back later this week for a little while. While I'm there, I'm going to get my things packed and my car checked to make sure it will make it back here. If not, I'm going to have to get creative with packing and shipping stuff, then take the train or bus again. I'm just ready for it all to be done. This limbo is getting old. It's almost over, but I'm getting impatient.
I'm hoping the drama is over now. I seem to have lost a friend I considered to be one of my best, as well as several acquaintances. It seems like people would rather listen to the dramatic routine than make up their own minds, or even ask me what is going on. It's hard, but honestly a small price to pay for peace. The center of this is something no longer worth my time, thought, or concern. I'm sure I'll be the notorious villain for years to come, much like all of the other former friends. It doesn't really matter, because after this, I'm done worrying about it, other than to remember the lesson learned. I've got friends I can trust, friends that won't force me to relive traumatic events for their own entertainment, and friends who genuinely appreciate me and who I am (instead of who they want me to be).
I'm tired of disbelieving people who compliment me, like having me around, or tell me I'm a good person. I like the idea of people wanting me around, not for what I can do for them, but because we have a good time together. I want to enjoy peoples' company without worrying what's going to be said later. And I wan to have conversations with people who value what I say and don't behave like they're smarter than everyone else. There are people who are happy to be followers, but I'd prefer to spend my time with people secure enough to teach AND learn. So, I'm good now.
That is the last time I let that subject creep in and touch my future. I'm looking ahead. In about two weeks, I'll be living here. Hopefully, I'll have a job not long after that so I won't have to worry about money and the holidays. I'm ready for the challenge.
It's taken me a while to get even this much written. I'm feeling kind of tired and weird, and I'd rather be processing the thoughts in my head right now.
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