The Last of October

It's been a quiet ending to this month so far. My dear friend and I made our Halloween tradition visit today, and I said good bye to another place. It's not getting any easier, honestly. The closer I come to actually leaving, the harder everything becomes. This state is difficult and rife with issues, but it's also the land of my birth. It's where all of my greatest childhood memories (and many of the adult ones as well) were created. This is where much of my family is. This is where the places that I've gone for comfort, to cry, and to be happy are. I can visit them when I come here to visit. It's scary to think I won't be able to just jump in the car and go to the overlook at 1am because I need a moment to think, or lace up my sneakers and walk to the cemetery that feels like my own private park. It's also scary to think I won't be able to run to my Mom whenever I need her, or to even see my best friend. Our life together has ended, but we've been able to forge a new relationship. It's not easy seeing him hurting so much, but he is still one of my best friends, and he always will be a part of my family. It may seem like an odd thing to remain close to one's ex, but I've never been one for much normalcy anyway.

Of course, I will be able to put on my sneakers and walk to the bridge. Looking out over the river, I'll be able to remember one of the happiest moments in my life. I'll also be starting my life with my love, and bettering myself.

I've got less than 5 days left here before I go "home". I've got my closet basically cleared, but still the dresser and some packed winter clothes to go through. Then I've got to go through the kitchen and pack the things I need to bring with me initially, as well as a few mementos and decorative things. I wish I could have everything ready to go for when I leave, but I doubt I will. I also need to take the car for an oil change to help its chances of making it there, as well as clean it out. And there are still a few places I need to visit, foods I need to eat, and people I need to hug before I go. Then, it's time to hold my breath and pray the car makes it so that I can jump back into the arms of my Love. Then, it'll be time to prepare for a trip with his family to visit more family. Nothing like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire right away. I'm looking forward to it, though.