In Closing of 2010

I know there's a week left, but the end of the year really is very close. A lot has happened and I've been reflecting a lot on that lately.

I've lost a lot of friends this year due to many factors, most of which were my choice. There was too much of an expectation placed on my by some of these people to be something I'm not. I didn't want to share everything anymore, or I couldn't handle the expectation of dropping everything for them when they couldn't even be there when I called. Lots of reasons, all of them healthy for my growth. There was one I lost that was as a result of my cutting out another. That was the only one I was upset about. But in thinking about it, I've realised I'm much better off there as well.

I've left New Jersey. I also left my girls (a dog and two bearded dragons)and my family. Saying goodbye to all of them was hard, as well as leaving the only home I had ever known at the time. It was also something I had never done before, which was scary as hell for me.

But this was the year that I finally got to meet, in person, someone who I had been talking to for a long time. This was someone who became very important to me and to whom I loved talking. He also turned out to be the love of my life. For that one addition to my life alone, this was the best year of my life. I'm also looking forward to the new year for the first time in a very long time. I know our future will be just as wonderful as our present is. I cannot properly convey in words just how much he means to me, and how happy he makes me. I could not love anyone as much as I love him.

Another addition to my life this year are the two friends I met along with my Love. They've become very important people to me, as well as my Kin. The four of us formed a Kindred at our Júl celebration and it was a wonderful night. They have made me feel extremely welcomed, and like I've been around far longer than the almost six months that I actually have.

I have completed week one of training at my new job. It's going well so far.I'm happy that I'll be able to contribute to our life and our future in a financial capacity. I've learned a lot and I think I'm doing well so far.

For 2011, I don't want much. I've found happiness and I hope to keep that, and have even more. I'm hoping to be able to start school and have one piece of unpleasant business taken care of. I'm hoping for a few other things that I don't want to tell anyone about. A girl has to have some secrets that she whispers only to the spirits.

For Christmas, I only want happiness for my Love, for my Mother and Papa L, for my dear friend, my girls, my Kin, and my friends. Tomorrow, I will feel some emptiness for those who aren't here with me, but my heart will be filled to bursting with the joy and excitement of a first holiday season with the man I love most in the world. That, and his family is pretty cool, so it will be a great day.