I'm not responsible for your decision that what you had wasn't good enough (even though it was far more than most men would have been allowed to get away with). I'm not responsible for your decision to fuck her, repeatedly, on our furniture, in our home. I am responsible for not getting the help I should have and letting my depression go on too long. But I am not responsible for your continued spending spree after I lost my job.
I am no longer responsible for your happiness. I need to take responsibility for my own. You DO deserve to be happy, but YOU must be the one who wants it.
I took responsibility for my own happiness and I was able to start finding it. I'm still working on it, and I still have a long way to go. But I've recognised that I'm the one responsible for it. I cannot lean on anyone for my own happiness or contentment, and neither can you. I cannot blame anyone for any misery I've suffered, and neither can you. Other people can effect our lives in horrible (or wonderful) ways, but we cannot lay our burdens solely on them. We have the choice on how we can deal with it. NO ONE can take that from us.
But I cannot take the blame anymore. We both made mistakes, we both hurt each other. And we both gave each other gifts of joy, growth, and good times. I do think that you don't see that. I feel that you only blame, and don't understand why I did what I ended up doing. It's because I couldn't allow myself to be hurt anymore. And I couldn't push anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment